it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
