there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
