I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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