You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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