I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am available for nakedness
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
