i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
