now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
