how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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