glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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