i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
MIDGETS
????
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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