Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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