I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
