thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize