She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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