Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
