Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
