Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
