Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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