Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you will always have a special place in my vag
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
