ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
