I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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