I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
