So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
