Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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