Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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