Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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