i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
