Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
