I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
