I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
