i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
