Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
