I'm gonna have a badass scar
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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