I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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