it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
