idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
