Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
