You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
