I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
