That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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