that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I seem to have left my pride at pride
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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