"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
