I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
