it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
