i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
