I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
