I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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