Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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