let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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