What a fucking waste of an outfit
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
