did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
