I hate your face
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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