Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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