you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
