Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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