my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
